Cutler Funny Chicago Meme Im Open
I Love That Jay Cutler Doesn't Care That
I Love Him
In salute of the Chicago Bears' antihero quarterback — for all of his talent, and all of his delicious flaws.
I have a mancrush, and his name is Jay Cutler.
It's doomed, of course, to be an unrequited mancrush, for the very reason I've been so partial to him in Chicago: He doesn't care what I think about him. He doesn't care what you think about him, either. He doesn't care that I'm writing this or that people will respond to me with anti-Cutler venom for writing it.
If anything, he probably thinks those who have his back are lamer than his haters. Oh, I love him so.
I love his press conferences, where he oozes disdain about the dog-and-pony show he owes the media. I love how he never pretends that asking questions of an athlete at the podium is anything but an exercise in dumbassery. I love how his incomparably photogenic "indifference face" has spawned memes that are so cool, they have finally made their way to Third World Wisconsin. I love his conversion van.
I am smitten.
To you, my feelings about Jay Cutler probably seem like some crazed Belieber-level fandom. Or some predictable John Hughesian plot, wherein the rebel loaner clad in tattered leather draws the fascination of the good girl despite the fact that she knows he's no good for her. (Admittedly, as a teen, I looked more like Molly Ringwald than you might expect.) Look, I realize that I am firmly in the minority on No. 6, both nationally, and here in Chicago. Even the nerds writing about TV ratings make fun of Cutler just for the hell of it.
And sure, Jay's no Student Council President Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers is the guy you take home to Mom and Dad, so they can dream about your future, replete with a couple of championships and a cozy little place in Canton, Ohio. But that's safe and boring. Just like Green Bay.
I want my guy to bring some danger along with him — the potential to throw any combination of five touchdowns and interceptions in the same game. And no matter what that combo is, he'll say of it, "Whatever."
Cutler didn't give up 38 points to the Packers two Sundays ago. He didn't give up on punt coverage against the Panthers last week while an opponent picked up a loose ball and took it to the house early in the game. (Jay responded with 21 straight points thereafter, by the way.) He didn't make Matt Forte fumble at a critical time — even if the Bears' workhorse RB is just the kind player that Chicagoans love to project their blue-collar mythology complex on, presumably allowing him to avoid any mention whatsoever in the clickbait.
We're talking about the same Forte who has zero rushing touchdowns through five games, too. The Bears, as a team, have exactly one rushing TD … and it's from Cutler. Still, though, Cutler fumbling after being sacked just added to the wackiness that is this plural turnovers narrative. I guess that's what happens when you roll your eyes and sigh a lot during postgame pressers.
Historically, if you'll recall, Cutler admirably bit his tongue as best he could to not publicly call his former playcaller, Mike Martz, a dangerous doofus that almost got him paralyzed on a weekly basis. Yes, on-field microphones once picked up Cutler telling Martz to go fuck himself, but that was supposed to be private. (Also, it was awesome.) The Chicago QB has not made a habit of throwing others under the bus after losses, even if Brandon Marshall ran the wrong route on a crucial INT against the Packers, and Santonio Holmes was flaglessly interfered with on a pick in the Panthers game.
"There were many opportunities for us to close this out offensively," he also said after the loss in Charlotte. "We put our defense in a bad spot. I thought they played really well given the circumstances and some of the field position we put them in. Offensively, a lot of that is on me. We've just got to play better."
What a selfish jagoff, right?
See, the reality is, Jay Cutler is the toughest guy ever to take snaps for the Bears — he's sustained vicious hit after vicious hit behind awful offensive lines throughout most of his Chicago tenure. Yet despite the fact that he's gotten back up every single time after which something didn't break or tear, Cutler's reputation remains one of fragility. "When will Cutler get hurt again this year?"
Was it Cutler who was responsible for the Bears' historically bad defense or laughable special teams, staples of those beloved Urlacher-era teams that never won anything? (Urlacher, for what it's worth, didn't like Cutler and hasn't taken the high road in retirement — and his attitude has clearly helped fuel the polarization of the QB.) Cutler represents a schism between what the stereotypical Midwest pigskin fan expects from his "guys" like Urlacher, and what those who know what they're talking about recognize the Vanderbilt product to be: cerebral, secure in who he is, and unwilling to be anyone's All-American hero.
Simply put, Jay wants you to kiss his ass, and like it.
Maybe, though, Cutler is too smart for his own good, and the absurdity of NFL life just makes him all the more abrasive. Maybe, just maybe, he's the tortured genius type — ever consider that? Nah, it's easier to just write stuff like this:
"Jay Cutler is an athlete that's annoyed by his own physical ability. Like, he wishes he could just be an Abercrombie & Fitch store manager, but he can chuck a football 75 yards so he's pained by a career in the NFL. Bears fans hate Jay Cutler and Jay Cutler hates Bears fans, even though they need each other. He's a pouty teenage mall girl with a bad One Direction haircut, which makes him look especially clownish when he's screaming at an offensive coordinator or recently flagged lineman. You know when an 8-year-old kid asks for an autograph, this stroke rolls his eyes and scribbles on a Nerf football before dropping the Sharpie on the sidewalk and walking away silently. We totally hope he doesn't get sacked 60 times this season."
Even if Jay does hate Bears fans, who cares? He probably hated Broncos fans, too. And he would have hated Giants fans if he had been drafted by New York. You know what, though? Cutler doesn't rip Bears fans, even though they probably deserve it. Like when they inexplicably refuse to shut up when their team's offense is trying to hear calls.
Or because of their ridiculous obsession with Cutler's backups.
First it was Caleb Hanie, he who played well for one quarter of a playoff game filling in for an injured Cutler against a Packers team that had zero tape on Hanie. Then it was Josh "McGowan" — as sports radio callers are wont to mispronounce it like they do Alshon "Jeffries" — throwing to the best receiving duo the team's ever had, a solid tight end, and running back that has 10,000 yards from scrimmage before age 30. Surely, drum-banging for Jimmy "Clausman" is imminent.
Sorry that Jay doesn't buy into "Bear Weather" or history and tradition and Walter Payton and George Halas and DIT-KA. He's not telling fans to R-E-L-A-X. To a man, Cutler would probably admit that he'd rather play in a completely empty Soldier Field — free of obese men and women wearing Curtis Enis jerseys yelling in unison at the PA announcer. Can you really blame him?
He simply does not suffer fools, and it's refreshing as all hell. If you would prefer that your pro athletes to speak in clichés and tell you how much they care about you so that Bill Plaschke can go write a swell column, enjoy your red pill. At least Cutler is genuine, even if that genuineness is really just aggressive apathy.
Everyone's opinions aside, this is about me, and my affinity for Cutler. In fact, his greatest moment in Chicago — that quintessential moment of pure givezerofucksitude — may have never actually happened, but the veracity of the account is largely irrelevant. In this urban legend that Jay will neither confirm nor deny, he stole my heart forever:
Cutler matters because you're insignificant. You're not cool. Jay doesn't want to be your friend. You. Don't. Matter. All that matters is the game at hand. (And Cutler's family — they probably matter — though he doesn't vaccinate his kids because his wife is a moron.)
Jay Cutler is here to play football, and he happens to do so better than any quarterback the Bears have ever had. Yes, it's true. Better than the Super Bowl winning Jim McMahon and Super Bowl losing Rex Grossman. Better than Orton and Krieg and Kramer and Harbaugh and Tomczak and all the rest.
He's had more offensive coordinators and playbooks than most quarterbacks have teeth, but he gets crushed because Jay doesn't smile, because he takes himself too seriously, because his body language is bad, because your kid didn't get an autograph from him, because your wacky uncle thinks he's not a nice person.
God forbid Cutler lets the media know when it's wasting his time. How dare he yell at teammates and coaches, but not in the True Leader Way that Rodgers or Peyton Manning do. Will he win a championship like those guys have? I don't know. What I do know is that if Cutler never wins one in Chicago, it probably won't entirely be his fault.
I'm a Cutler fan because he's represents everything the average dumb fan hates. And because he's the best quarterback my favorite team has ever had. So go ahead and qualify his play with incessant and uninformed "Yeah, buts," and feel free to magnify his mistakes more than those of any other NFL quarterback. I don't give a crap.
And neither does Jay.
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Source: https://the-cauldron.com/i-love-that-jay-cutler-doesnt-care-that-i-love-him-da88cea5f066